The Sydney Symphony Orchestra is the new Ugly Chinese Girl... Almost

According to CNN:

"Eight years after Sydney hosted what was dubbed "the best Olympic Games ever," officials with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra acknowledged their stirring performance at the 2000 opening ceremony was entirely prerecorded. And perhaps even more cringe-inducing for Sydneysiders: some of the music was recorded by the orchestra of Sydney's rival city, Melbourne.

The revelation of the mimed performance -- which both orchestras have defended as a necessary precaution against embarrassing flubs -- followed an international uproar over China's decision to pass off the voice of a 7-year-old singer as that of another girl at this year's Olympic opening ceremony.

The Beijing ceremony's chief music director said the real singer, Yang Peiyi, with her chubby face and crooked baby teeth, wasn't good looking enough."


I think CNN posted this news bulletin to capitalize on the recent Chinese escapades at the Beijing Olympics; it seems as though CNN is uncovering some vast conspiracy to make the Olympics a massive sham. Oh Noes! Call the WAAAAAAmbulance!

There are two major differences between the Beijing singer fiasco and this Syndey story, the first being that aside from this minor detail, the Sydney games were widely regarded as the best Olympics we've had in a long time. Nothing else significant went wrong, as opposed to the recent Olympics which were plagued by 1: The singer fiasco, 2: The underaged Chinese gymnasts (quite disturbing in itself) and 3: That weird trippy ending performance. I mean, SERIOUSLY? The giant pulsating wave of shiny people climbing up a giant toilet paper roll was neat, but it was so abstract and weird that I turned it to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire ABC Family. Seriusly, if that was Sydney's only problem, who gives a frick?

Second, it's far more humane. I certainly don't know what Yang Peiyi's opinion on the incident was (Although I could hazard a guess) but the decision was made clearly and explicitly (at least afterwards) because she wasn't photogenic enough. It wasn't unfair to the symphony tha they had prerecorded the song they were playing; I mean, come on, have you ever heard of the Jonas Brothers? Wondered at how they can keep their perfect electronically-enhanced voices painfully intact in their shriveled little necks even after groaning out their musical sludge at a live show in front of 50,000 screaming pre-pubescent girls? Why even when they prance around madly pretending they're real BA rockstars, you never hear them breathe any heavier? Why their live songs sound exactly like their album songs?

So despite what CNN is attempting to construe, everybody prerecords their music. But not everyone keeps a talented artist from peforming because they're not pretty enough. That's the difference between just being kinda tacky and being a douche.

The Chinese government is a douche.

There. I said it.